Run BTS Rewatch Episode 58: Pesto Change-o
방탄 셰프 2, BTS Chef 2
Last time we did a long wind-up before getting into a Bangtan cooking episode, one of the most precious and beloved type of episode there are. We laughed, we cried, Jimin got meringue in his hair and the stylists had to save him, it truly had it all. As an opening to Season 3 it was a strong one, highlighting a renewed energy and excitement for a group who ended the last Season on an emotional and somewhat tired note.
But I missed them so much, and I’m glad they came back, and there are still like 200 episodes to go or something so we’re not even close to winding down.
The Setup:
BTS have split into three teams to cook steak and pasta for judging, with the losers having to clean up afterwards and make coffee for everyone. Team Ref (rapline) are making sirloin with pesto fettucine, Team Boxing (Jinkook) are making tenderloin with spaghetti alfredo, and Team 95z (Vmin) are making pork neck with arrabbiata orecchiette. Vmin are the least confident, but they have the most Italian sounding pasta, so I think it could be anyone’s game.
The Moments of Pure Love:
Hoseok starts off the episode with a command that everyone wash their fucking hands
He tells Namjoon that first is cleanliness, second is cleanliness, third is cleanliness, and fourth is swag
No one dares to disagree with him
Taehyung, somewhat helplessly, asks the chef what he should do first, and the chef shows him the package directions of the pasta, which is boil for 13 minutes
Taehyung imparts this key information to Jimin, who confirms it, then says he (Jimin) will make the sauce
Jinkook wash their hands as Jin says “teamwork” over and over and over again
Hoseok, on the hunt for the blender (calling it a blender), locates the salad spinner and identifies it as a likely candidate
Namjoon, not convinced but also unable to say it’s not a blender, looks for the chef to confirm
Namjoon also realizes he needs to ask how much to use to make 3 servings, and also what all of the ratios are supposed to be, and then once they have the ratios do they blend it all at once
Hoseok is still trying to find the blender
Jin tells Jungkook that they need to start with cream as Jungkook rocks side to side behind him through the kitchen
Jungkook corrects him that they need to fry the bacon first, because he asked the chef earlier
The chef shows Hoseok how to get three servings of pasta by saying that the amount you grab in a hand is about two servings
Hoseok grabs a massive amount and is like yeah? and the Namjoon is like okay well that’s three servings
The chef then basically puts everything together for Namjoon on the sauce, because Namjoon is starting to spiral with the amount of unknown information
The chef tells them they can put the final pasta on any plate they want from the shelf; Namseok are frozen in indecision
Taehyung gets the biggest pot known to man to boil the water for his tiny pasta, and the chef is like “please put in a lot of salt”
Yoongi, not talking to a single person including his teammates, grabs plates from the plate shelf while humming a little song
He seasons his beef carefully with salt, still humming, then wanders around to find pepper
Namseok, at the pesto station, are not sure if they grind the garlic and the pine nuts together or keep them separate, so Namjoon asks the chef
The chef is like… yes that’s fine
Hoseok asks where the grinder is, until Namjoon corrects him to blender, which prompts him to say in English, very loudly, “Blender please!”
Hoseok is given the blender jar, then turns back to the salad spinner and is like, if they gave me a blender, then what is this
Namjoon guesses a millstone / miller, and Hoseok opens the lid curiously and thinks maybe it’s just a trash can; Namjoon agrees
Jimin and Taehyung decide that Jimin will make the sauce and Taehyung will make the pasta even though they decided this like 2 minutes ago
Jimin reminds Taehyung that they need to cook the meat, and is it okay to do the pasta first, and Taehyung thinks it’s fine
Jungkook calls out into the void for a spoon, which Jin points him towards; he goes to get one still calling for it
Taekook fret over their water to salt ratios in the pasta pots
Jin cooks silently, spraying in oil and heating it up after seasoning the meat, until he suddenly realizes he doesn’t know what to do next
He wanders into the other part of the kitchen, calls Jungkook “hyung”, then says he lost what he was supposed to do; Jungkook is similarly adrift
Hoseok overhears this and is like “if you don’t have anything to do you should come pluck some basil for us”
Saying basil out loud makes him think of soccer and he does a little soccer announcer voice for shoot, goaaaaaaaaal!
Namjoon softly echoes the “goaaaaal”, and it’s very cute
Hoseok says that basil sounds like the name of a German soccer player
Jin comes over to help because he really did run out of things to do
Jungkook also comes to watch, because he also has nothing to do, and this surprises Namseok because surely at least one of their team has to be doing something
Jimin stir fries his veggies and looks very confident with his sleeves rolled up
Yoongi asks for chopsticks and receives past chopsticks, which are much larger; he is bemused
Jungkook sees these huge chopsticks and immediately covets them, but Yoongi doesn’t actually know where they came from
Jungkook gets a chef to give him some, and he very happily says “Yeah!” like a tiny baby
Taehyung, stares at his pot of water which won’t boil, because he’s never heard the English idiom, and doesn’t know what to do so he just sort of stands there and smiles
Namseok begin putting their basil and parsley in the blender, then worry there’s too much parsley
Hoseok takes out a few sprigs, and Namjoon very seriously takes out one more, which Hoseok finds hilarious in its exactness
Hoseok then puts one more back in because he felt right about the prior balance, and Namjoon allows it
Namseok call over the chef to ask how much pine nuts to put in
Jimin reads the recipe out loud to himself as he adds tomatoes to his veggie pan, then doubts himself
Taehyung comes over to help via asking a chef how many tomatoes to put it in; he says there could be more
Jimin begins eating raw tomatoes, and Taehyung watches him hungrily
Hoseok waxes on about how oil pasta needs a lot of garlic to feel real, and begins to look for it
Jin stands in the corner and stares off into space
Namjoon locates a tub of garlic and reaches for it, prompting Jin to whir back to life and take it out of his hands because it’s actually the orecchiette pasta for the 95z dish
Namjoon finds his own idiocy very charming
Hoseok pours pine nuts into the blender by feel, stressing out Namjoon who didn’t get an exact measurement from the chef for this step
Hoseok says that Namjoon should trust him and his gut
Namjoon says he does trust him, but trusts the instructions more
Hoseok yells “bam bam bam” as he throws a handful of garlic into the blender
Jimin continues to stir his veggies, wondering if he’s overstirring
Jimin feeds a tomato to Taehyung, who gets very excited, then grabs the tomatoes for himself to snack; the water is still not boiling
Jungkook asks Jin how much salt he used in the seasoning; he did not use any salt in the seasoning
Jin and Jungkook begin sprinkling salt like two idiots from the elbow; Jimin says Jin looks like a chicken, which is not wrong
Jinkook decide to modify the recipe by adding some beef pieces to the frying bacon, and the chef gives them his blessing
Namseok have reached the cheese stage of the pesto, and the chef says a lot of cheese is good
They have to grate it, which gives Hoseok a little anxiety, but he gets Namjoon to hold the grater while he does the cheese and Hoseok is DELIGHTED by how good it feels
Hoseok wants Namjoon to have this religious experience of grating cheese, so Namjoon scrapes it backwards on the grater and breaks the cheese in half
Rather than simply turn the grater around they physically switch sides of the table, Taehyung watching them with great interest
Namjoon likes the sensation of grating also, and really gets into it, until Hoseok remembers that they’re grating all of this cheese into their ingredients and worries that it’s too much
Jimin explains to the nearby cameraman that he’s cooking the vegetables until they’re tender enough to grind
Jimin realizes that he doesn’t remember what the word for blender is and takes a stab with “bolenche”, then asks Taehyung what he’s trying to say
Taehyung thinks he’s trying to say bolognese, and they land on “blenche” as the final answer
While this is happening you can hear Namjoon shouting in the background over his joy in grating cheese
Hoseok, holding the jar, commands Namjoon to come over to the blending station, then shoves Yoongi out of the way to make room for his baby
Taekook peer over their hyung’s shoulders to get a gander of this blending action, but it’s not really working and Hoseok is puzzled
The chef gives them a stir bar and tells them to push things down with it but DON’T let it touch the blades
Jungkook, unable to sit idly by, reaches over to pulse the blender, and Hoseok is very pleased with this total teamwork
Taehyung pours in some more oil into the blender at their request, but he doesn’t stop immediately when they say so; he’s nonplussed when Namseok give him a suspicious look
Hoseok’s smile is enormous when Taehyung pouts at them, because Taehyung is just so cute
Namseok decide to taste their creation as the final test
Jimin, who also needs a blender, asks them to hurry, but there’s a second one they can shuffle out of the way of
Taehyung is still staring at his non-boiling water as Jungkook comes back to check his, which is almost boiling
Taehyung sighs heavily, and Jimin whirls around to rub his neck and tell him to cheer up
Namseok taste their pesto, using the same spoon, and they agree it’s not bad but it’s missing something
They grind it again, but that doesn’t solve the problem; Namjoon posits it needs more pine nuts, but Hoseok wants more garlic
Jimin tastes his sauce with Taehyung, and they do so quietly and without comment
Yoongi, in the back of the shot, asks where the butter is, making no moves to look for it
As Yoongi starts to cook his steak he asks for tongs
Jin, next to him, keeps leaping back from the oil splatter coming off of his pan, but he loves the smell of bacon
Jin asks Jungkook what’s after bacon, then calls for Jungkook to deliver him an onion
Jungkook has put his pasta in but didn’t set a timer, so he optimistically tells himself that cooking is about intuition so he will know when it’s been five minutes
Jungkook leans around a pillar and instructs Jin on the rest of the recipe, but emphasizes it’s up to him if he uses butter or eggs to make it a smooth consistency
Namseok, at the blender, add more garlic and cheese, then blend again
After tasting, Namjoon wants to add more basil, so they do
After tasting, the basil is too much, so they add oil
After tasting, the basil is still too strong, so they add pine nuts, garlic, and cheese
They cackle to themselves like little gremlins as they add each ingredient, because they know they’ve basically added every ingredient and doubled their pesto amount
Hoseok declares himself satisfied, because Yoongi is cooking in garlic butter so it will balance the sauce
Namjoon is worried that the basil is too strong but Hoseok does not pay him any attention as he declares them done
Taehyung watches Jimin strain the sauce back into the pan with curiosity, then calls the chef over to ask if he can put his pasta in even though the water is not boiling; the chef says no
Jungkook finishes his pasta
Taehyung encourages his bubbles to get bigger with a strong cheer
Yoongi has finished their pasta and decides to stir fry it in the garlic butter for extra bite, then asks Namseok to bring garnishes
Jin, now properly afraid of the oil in his pan, cooks from around a pillar to shield his body
Taehyung’s water is finally boiling and he adds the pasta, setting a timer for 13 minutes on his phone which Jimin finds cute
Yoongi, stir frying the pasta, catches some of the oil inside on fire from the stovetop, but he’s not afraid just too warm
Jin mixes the pasta into the cream sauce, then tells Jungkook the pasta is perfectly cooked
Jin comes over to feed some to Jungkook like he’s a baby bird as Jungkook plates the steak
Yoongi brings a plate of pasta to Hoseok to decorate, saying “decorate decorate decorate” over and over again before leaving
Jin twists his pasta using the tongs to create a beautiful plate
Taehyung finds a strainer and asks the cameraman if he can use it; the cameraman does not know the answer to this
Jimin shows off his wrist snap on the vegetables and Taehyung is very impressed
As Hoseok is about to pour the pesto on, fretting about how much to use, the chef swoops into taste it and says it needs more salt or cheese because it’s bland
Hoseok, flustered, is like well, maybe, I guess, and he’s about to spiral into madness when Yoongi’s voice from across the kitchen tells him to grate some Parmesan in at the end and it will be fine
The chef makes it to Vmin station and compliments Jimin’s sauce as well as Taehyung’s precision in using a timer for his noodles
They’re now halfway through but most people are plating their dishes, so they’re a little flummoxed as to why there’s so much time
The chef realizes that Vmin have not even begun cooking their pork, which is hilarious, and he summons Taehyung to begin that part of the job
Namjoon takes a moment to be quietly amazed at Yoongi’s entire existence
Yoongi walks up with his steak covered up to rest, which nearly makes the chef cry tears of real joy as Yoongi is like yeah it’s no big deal I just know things
Namjoon takes a moment to be loudly amazed at Yoongi’s entire existence
Yoongi is so proud of himself he’s practically sweating it out
The chef compliments Jimin on how well he’s seasoning the pork, but Jimin says he’s just copying what he saw on TV
Team Ref finishes plating and Yoongi rings the service bell for them to take away their plates
Taehyung is getting flustered as time marches on, and when he gets his pasta out the plate is too small for it and he has to rush around to find another one
The whole time his phone alarm is going off but he doesn’t even notice until the chef is like who’s alarm is that
Jinkook plate their pasta and steak, with Jungkook wiping traces of sauce off of the edges to get a truly clean look
Jimin realizes, looking at the massive amount of pasta, that he did not make even close to enough sauce, but Taehyung solves that but just not putting it all in
Jimin feeds Taehyung to cover his anxiety at being the last ones to finish
Hoseok wanders up with an iced coffee and checks to see if they’re going to finish on time
They race the plates over to the window and garnish their little hearts out as the bell rings and rings and rings
The glamour shots of the food make me INCREDIBLY HUNGRY because they all look really good
Interestingly the rapline has chosen to plate all of their stuff separately, the steak on one plate and the pasta and pesto on the other but not mixed together
Vmin’s pasta looks soooooooooo fucking good though, it’s all I want to eat, so visually I think they did a great job
Hoseok starts the final segment by saying that cooking is fucking hard
The chef, accusatorily, is like, but it’s also fun, right, and Hoseok has to wildly backtrack to agree
Jimin thinks that cooking is fun but would be more fun without a time limit
Namjoon is the spokesperson for the rapline meal, which he names Min Suga, because he put his soul into the food and it’s sweet like he is
Yoongi laughs so hard his shoulders shake as he tries to sublimate his embarrassment into his physical body
Hoseok agrees that it’s basically Yoongi’s meal, though Yoongi says it would be better if it were still hot
Vmin introduce their dish as 95z Easy Steak, speaking in unison
Hoseok points out that cooking pork takes longer than cooking beef, which makes it extra funny that they didn’t start it until over halfway through the process
Jimin says that he and Taehyung worked really hard, which prompts Namjoon to say, hilariously, that everyone worked really hard
Jungkook titles Jinkook’s dish “It smells really good…”, which leads to BTS confusion (because they think there will be more to the sentences but there isn’t) and teasing (because it implies the taste is bad)
Jin assures them it tastes delicious
Taehyung picks up one of the plates to sniff it, which gets snatched by Jimin; they both approve
Jungkook proposes an alternate name for the dish, “A flying cow on top of the running pasta”, and the rest of them think that sounds cool
Except for Jimin, who says that those two concepts don’t blend together, and Jungkook gets mad at him, which Jimin finds cute
Hoseok diffuses the moment by saying he loves cream pasta!
The chef begins judging with rapline’s dish, and when he cuts into the steak he’s like, this was cooked by a fucking expert, it’s a perfect medium
Jungkook watches the chef eat the steak and says, full of longing, that it must taste delicious
Jungkook, Namjoon, and Hoseok begin bragging about how Yoongi can do it all, and is the pillar of BTS, and Yoongi’s eyes dart nervously back and forth at this cavalcade of praise
The chef also says the pasta tastes good even though it’s not sauced
Jinkook is next to be judged, but Jungkook has abandoned his food to go to the rapline section to stare at the food hungrily
Jin tries to call Jungkook back, but Jungkook pleads for some of the steak
Yoongi feeds him, and Jungkook bounces back down to Jin saying that their steak is so much better
The chef eats all of his dishes down at the rapline end of the table, and Yoongi looks at the steak and says it’s a little over-cooked
The chef asks if they did it medium-well and Jin, after a very long moment of total silence, says “yes”, which makes everyone laugh
Jungkook is like I don’t know I just cooked it?
The chef says it’s very good and tender but it could use more salt, and Jungkook claps Jin on the shoulder and says Jin was in charge of the salt
The chef also likes the pasta, finding the use of beef instead of salted pork interesting, and calls it a new carbonara
BTS is excited by this compliment, which sounds very fancy to them
Jimin stands up to give the chef access to the food, and the chef begs him not to stand up, but he’s already standing so he sort of hangs out, then sits on Taehyung’s lap because the lap is right there
The chef smiles after he tastes the pork, and Vmin are so scared of him
The chef explains that the 95z struggled the hardest out of all of the teams, but they ended up with a great pairing with the pork and pasta, with the tastes perfectly complimenting each other
He goes on to ask if they made the orecchiette al dente on purpose, and it’s Taehyung’s turn to be totally silent because he doesn’t even know what that means
Jimin, loyally, says that it’s Taehyung’s intuition shining through for a beautiful result, and the chef agrees that it’s a great texture pairing
The dishes go for scoring, and Jimin is resigned to losing but he says that they did a great job today anyway
Yoongi says that his steak is better than the steak you get from hotel room service, finally entering the realm of hubris that we all know and love him in
The dishes are scored on Taste, Decoration, Speed, and Hygiene
Rapline gets 19.5 total (all perfect except for hygiene)
Vmin gets 18.5 total (dinged for speed and a little for hygiene)
Jinkook gets 18.5 total (perfect decoration, but everything else a little short)
The production team decide that Jinkook and Vmin have to RPS minus one to determine the ultimate loser; Jinkook cry out in agony
Jungkook nominates himself to go against Taehyung first, and he wins!
Namjoon, behind them, yells out boxing promo lines for each match
Jimin steps up and takes Jungkook down in a single swoop, leaving it up to Jinmin to decide their fate
They tie the first round, then Jin takes the second, and he and Jungkook are so fucking happy it’s like they won the lottery, leading to this series of events:
Jin runs over to Jungkook and hugs him as small as he can, jumping up and down
Jungkook picks Jin up at the waist and leans back hard
Jin wraps his legs around Jungkook and hangs on tight, screaming
Jungkook bounces Jin up and down in mini-squats
Vmin, sadly, sit at their seats as the rest of them pass their dishes around for everyone to taste
They fall on it like starving men, to a man, and begin talking with their mouths full
Namjoon gives an impassioned speech about how grateful he will be at restaurants in the future, that people did all that work to make him food
Hoseok really likes the spicy pasta because he can’t feel his tongue, which is an ideal state
Jungkook tells Yoongi they should open a steakhouse together, and Yoongi says okay but his steak is better
Hoseok is like uh oh, we’ve reached the cliff, someone’s gonna have to solve this Too Proud Yoongi problem, but it’s not gonna be me
The producers call for coffee-making, which Jimin determinedly ignores because he’s still hungry
Hoseok puts in an order for a nice cup of ice Americon, while Jungkook asks for a lemonade
Yoongi orders Coke, Namjoon wants Dutch coffee, and Jin finishes up with a strong lemonade
Jimin, in the coffee making zone, is overtaken by the devil on his shoulder and says that they should salt someone’s coffee
Taehyung, thinking deeply, says that Yoongi wanted Coke, and Jimin remembers the Yoongi bragging and agrees he is the perfect target
Taehyung is already looking for the salt
Vmin use their former barista training to make the first two coffees, and Hoseok could not be more excited to receive his order
Hoseok, somewhat incredulously, asks if Jimin really made it; when he confirms that he did, Hoseok has no choice but to take a photo of it
Jimin, back in the kitchen, asks for salt from the staff
Taehyung worries that the rest of the members know them so well that they’ll suspect a rat immediately, which is valid
Jimin is optimistic that they can get away with anything
They add a little salt to the glass, but it doesn’t taste salty, so Jimin dumps in so much that it gets a little cloudy; he tastes it and wants to die
Jimin brings out the soda and says the lemonades are pending, acting his little heart out
Hoseok says the coffee is really good, very sincerely, and encourages Jimin to try it
Yoongi sips his soda, stops, and asks what they put in there
Jimin giggles, and Hoseok laughs on reflex
Taehyung, straight-faced, says it’s Coke, but Yoongi says there’s definitely something in there
Jungkook, ever-curious, grabs it to take a sip, then stares at Taehyung, dumfounded
Taehyung, wounded, says they really didn’t put anything in it!
Jin wants a turn on this ride, but Jungkook holds the glass up and examines it like a scientist, stirring the straw before he pronounces that it’s salt because he can see the white crystals at the bottom of the cup
Yoongi tries to get them to get extra punishment while Taehyung continues to insist that they are innocent
Jin takes a sip and makes a disgusted face; Namseok have zero interest in tasting this concoction
Vmin have to go clean the kitchen, which for some reason necessitates Taehyung backing up against the refrigerator with his arms up like he’s being held prisoner while Jimin slides past him with a hand on his hip; I don’t make the rules
Jimin comforts Taehyung by saying it will go quickly, and they do their best to clean up all of the dishes
Jimin optimistically says that there’s not as much as he expected, and they’re almost done, then turns around to find an entire additional sink of dirty dishes waiting for them and almost falls over laughing
The staff take pity on them and help them out the rest of the way, and we’re out!
The Finish Line:
Goodness gracious what a marathon! I love this episode so much for so many reasons, not least of which is that all of the food looks so good at the end. It’s really not fair that they’re so talented at so many things, and I’m especially proud of Vmin both for finding the delicious result that they did and for inventing the punishment subversion with the salted Coke. Taehyung is right that it’s very predictable, but it was very entertaining nonetheless.
But for me this episode is all about Namseok, and their desperate, comedy-laden attempts to make a simple pesto. You don’t even have to cook it! It’s just a bunch of blended raw ingredients and yet it was an odyssey of epic proportions. From Hoseok throwing things in by feel to Namjoon trying to get exact measurements, to them adding every possible ingredient after their taste tests until they just had more of what they already had, to the chef at the end totally deflating them with the suggestion of salt, it’s a real journey that I think about all the time. Yoongi cooking basically all of the food while Namseok try to learn how to use a blender and archaeologically investigate a salad spinner. That’s the kind of content I need!
I’m off to get some dinner, but next up we will have another duology set in a hotel room as they do promotional travel for something or other. See you there!