Run BTS Rewatch Episode 50: The BANG-tan Awards

달방 전야제 2, Run BTS Retrospective 2

Following from last episode, we’re celebrating 50 episodes of Run BTS by watching Bangtan celebrate themselves and also eat pastries to their heart’s content. This time we will see who wins the individual and group awards, and also take a special journey to a place full of meme-able events.

Setup:

Still tuxedoed, still bowtied, still Bangtan, they are looking back at all of their fun on this show and congratulating themselves for being a part of it. As well they should, as we are still deriving pleasure from these ridiculous activities to this very day!

The Moments of Pure Love:

1. Namjoon is presenting the Talented Boy award, and he cues the VCR of the nominees

2. Hoseok is super impressed at the high quality feel of this fake awards show

3. Talented Boy Category:Always Cute Award Nominees are:

   1. Yoongi, for being Min Yoonji, an adorable police chief, and a dancing machine

   2. Taehyung, for having the best aegyo in Korea and possibly the entire world

   3. Jimin, for being a sparkly lovely boy with a huge smile

4. The members wonder briefly if everyone will be nominated, but it’s just the three of them, and they all agree this is a heated battle

5. Yoongi declares that he is the most talented, by that metric

6. 2seok are upset that they were not nominated as they are both talented and cute

7. Yoongi wonders what the criteria really are for these awards

8. Namjoon points out that this is really a cuteness award, and Jin is soothed that talent isn’t the main consideration

9. Namjoon really milks the moment where he opens the envelope and builds suspense, and Jin is annoyed that he stole his planned bit

10. Namjoon says that everyone will agree with this choice, and Jimin smiles up at him because he has campaigned long and hard for Namjoon to think he is the cutest person in the whole world

11. Jimin indeed wins, and they give him a standing ovation - Taehyung is first to his feet

12. Namjoon hands Jimin a bouquet of flowers, then has to open up a velvet case holding an award and I regret to inform you that he first tries to open it up from the hinge side and then almost snaps Jimin’s fingers off when he accidentally lets it fall shut

13. Jimin thinks Namjoon is so fucking adorable

14. Jungkook loves that the staff actually made them engraved glass trophies

15. Jimin’s acceptance speech expresses surprise and gratitude to ARMY for allowing him to be cute, and he will work hard to be even cuter

16. The second award is a sports category, and everyone looks directly at Jungkook

17. Jin says he does not want to be nominated for this

18. Hoseok is presenting, which means he isn’t nominated for it, and Jinmin and I are both kind of shocked at this because Hoseok might be the second best sportsman on the team, especially if we include driving as a sport

19. The nominees for Sports Category: Best Physicality Award are

    1. Namjoon, for paintball, jumping off of things, and playing arcade basketball

    2. Jimin, for perfect body control in all situations including dizzily kicking a shoe at a target

    3. Jungkook, for being Jungkook

20. Jimin expresses surprise at Namjoon’s nomination, but Namjoon says he’s actually good at sports

21. Everyone does a drumroll as Hoseok draws out the moment, and Hoseok does the drum roll with his body by shaking his chest around

22. Hoseok asks who they think the winner is, and everyone says instantly “Jungkook”

23. Jungkook, trying his hardest to be humble, suggests Jimin

24. Hoseok tries a hard fakeout by looking at Namjoon and saying he didn’t expect this winner, but of course it’s Jungkook

25. Jungkook walks up to Hoseok with both hands cupped to receive the award, but Hoseok picks it up and gesticulates with it wildly as he talks and talks, and Jungkook’s cupped hands sort of float around in front of him hoping at any moment Hoseok will actually give it to him

26. Jungkook wipes slightly at his cheek, and they all accuse him of crying

27. Yoongi begins a chant of “don’t cry” that everyone picks up

28. Jungkook’s speech thanks his parents for providing him an excellent body, and he will work hard to stay in shape

29. Hoseok says that their dorm is basically a montage of Jungkook doing pushups everywhere, and that he wants to buy exercise equipment

30. Namjoon adds that he also keeps doing handstand pushups

31. Jin asks Hoseok how he feels about not being nominated for anything yet, and Hoseok says he’s very sad, and Jin agrees he is also very sad, and they laugh and laugh and laugh at each other

32. Namjoon, realizing this is definitely going to be A Thing for these two, reminds them there are still 5 awards left to go

33. Next award is an MC category, and Jungkook thinks he’ll present because he’s the worst MC, but it’s actually Jimin

34. Namjoon says that Jin should win because the word presenter is “Jin-heng” in Korean

    1. This fact short-circuits Jungkook’s brain, as he tries to say “Jin hyung” but ends up at “Jin-heng”, then blinks in confusion

    2. Jin, Jungkook, and Hoseok all have a great time with this bit on their little couch

35. The nominees for MC Category: Everyone’s Anticipating Award are

    1. Jin, for being both charming and combative at all times

    2. Yoongi, for keeping everyone on task

36. There’s just two nominees, and Hoseok nearly expires with the pain of being the only one not nominated for anything yet

37. Hoseok then realizes he’s never MC’ed a single episode and takes a brief moment to reevaluate his life

38. Jimin takes a brief pause to ask how Hoseok feels about not being nominated yet

39. Hoseok, who just screamed that his heart is breaking, says more calmly that his heart is breaking, but also that awards shows always invite people to come and then don’t nominate them so that’s life

40. Jungkook decides he would like to drink from his toast glass but contorts his body 90 degrees sideways to grab it for no apparent reason

41. Jimin announces Jin’s name, then swerves him by adding “please bring Yoongi to the stage”

42. Jin, who was genuinely excited to win this category, takes the joke with a smile, but Hoseok and Jungkook both realize that he is actually disappointed and Jungkook scolds Jimin for being mean

43. As Yoongi prepares his speech, his bouquet of flowers drips water all over the place and causes a brief panic

44. Jungkook realizes the flowers are real and scoops up his own bouquet quickly to check for leaks; it’s clear

45. Jin says that the water is his tears falling

46. Yoongi tries to give his speech but the water is really distracting

47. Namjoon repeats Jin’s joke about it being Jin’s tears

48. Jin ups the joke by saying he, himself, is a flower

49. Yoongi finally thanks Naver for giving him clear instructions to follow leading to this award, and he will continue to be a good entertainment robot

50. Hoseok notes that his anxiety levels are starting to peak with his lack of good work acknowledgement

51. The fourth award is translated as a situational play category, but I think it means imrpov

52. Hoseok does not see much chance of winning this one, and his levels go up another notch

53. Yoongi realizes that he is the one presenting the award, and he quietly chastises himself for bothering to walk back to his seat after his speech, wasting precious time and energy

54. The nominees for Situational Play cateogry: More than Imagination Award are

    1. Taehyung, for inhabiting new characters at every possible chance at all times

    2. Hoseok, for really leaning into his role as a sensitive literature boy trying to court Min Yoongi

    3. Jungkook, for being cute as heck when he tries

55. As the VCR starts to play Yoongi wonders, with some concern, what will happen if Hoseok isn’t on it

56. Once Hoseok appears they explode in cheers, because being in the same room as anxious Hoseok is probably a real test of nerves

57. They can’t figure out who’s going to get it, but Jungkook knows for sure that it’s not him

58. Yoongi does a dramatic envelope intro and Jungkook smiles up at him and says he’s the best MC ever

59. Unsurprisingly the winner is Taehyung, because we here at home have been watching him find his own dramatic arcs in almost every episode

60. Jimin gives Taehyung a hug that’s at least twice as long as it needs to be, and it is tight

61. Namjoon points out that as Taehyung is an official Hwarang actor, it’s only right

62. Taehyung begins to fake sob in preparation for his acceptance speech

63. Jimin, now that Taehyung has left the couch they shared with Namjoon, takes the opportunity to slide next to Namjoon so closely that he’s nearly on his lap, leaving a solid half of the couch open

64. Taehyung pours water from his flowers on the table to pretend they are his tears

65. Taehyung promises to continue to be the best actor we’ve ever seen, putting on his best crying face, and I believe him

66. Jimin decides it’s time to take an inventory of who hasn’t won something yet, and Namjoon, Jin, and Hoseok are like, obviously it is us you can see that we have nothing

67. The fifth award is a cooking category, and all eyes turn to a chagrined Jin

68. Jimin points out that his face looks very unhappy, and Jin says he doesn’t want to win a cooking award for a variety show, where he’s supposed to be entertaining

69. Jimin realizes the depths of his betrayal at this point, and sincerely apologizes to Jin for the earlier fakeout

70. Taehyung is the presenter, and he doesn’t even get the envelope before he’s like roll the fucking tape; Jungkook thinks that’s great

71. The nominees for Cooking Category: Rice Award are

    1. Jin, for being an incredible cook over and over again, especially when he made the lunches for the hikers

    2. Hoseok, for being an underrated cook with great hands

    3. Jungkook, for being focused and artistic in all things

72. Jungkook, rocking back and forth as he watches himself slice radishes, compliments himself for being great at cooking

73. Jimin says they wouldn’t have expected Jungkook

74. Jungkook, offended, says he is great at cooking! He makes wonderful food! Jin agrees

75. Taehyung, in his quest to be the most formal presenter ever holding an envelope, creates some awkward phrasing in his speech that Yoongi can’t wait to tease him about

76. He then tries to speak the name of the award so quickly that it turns into gibberish, which again deletes the whole crowd

77. Jin is the winner, of course, and he takes it graciously as the rest of them make sure to compliment him at maximum fervor

78. Jin takes the bouquet from Taehyung, then holds it up and says it’s impossible to tell which of them is the flower

79. Jin’s speech thanks Bang Sihyuk, BTS, and his parents, and he says he loves us in multiple languages

80. Yoongi, finally realizing how they organized this, tells Jin to stay up there because he’s presenting the next award

81. The sixth award is a Generosity Category

82. This concept takes Yoongi all the way out, and he giggles happily in his huge chair

83. Hoseok wonders if the presenter is the one who is least fitting to the award

84. Jin agrees, because Jin has never given less than 110% in a meaningless variety show competition in his life, and would in fact sell any of them up the river at any point for his own gain

85. Taehyung realizes that he presented the cooking one, which argues for the theory, and he merrily points and laughs at Jin

86. It dawns on Jin that this is reducing his standing in the eyes of Bangtan and the world and reverses course, saying he is actually so good at being generous that he is actually known as the Generosity King

87. Jungkook predicts that Jimin, Hoseok, and Namjoon will be the nominees

88. The nominees for Generosity Category: Looking Like An Angel Award are

    1. Namjoon, for sincerely complimenting people at all times and encouraging the members

    2. Jungkook, for slapping asses supportively, feeding people willingly, and being kind to dogs

    3. Jimin, for worrying about Jungkook and caring for others as needed

89. Namjoon, realizing that Jungkook and Jimin have already gotten awards, claps in resignation for what’s about to happen

90. Jin pulls a Jimin fakeout for revenge before announcing Namjoon, and Jimin is delighted by the ploy

91. Hoseok says that people should stand in respect for their leader, and Jin and Jungkook dutifully follow while Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jimin hilariously remain seated

92. Namjoon’s speech announces that he’s not actually generous, but because he often loses his passport and breaks things he has to be kind so that the karmic scales are balanced

93. Hoseok, Jin, and Jungkook sit down

94. Namjoon also thanks his parents and Hellen Keller for teaching him about generosity

95. 2seok are very impressed with the namecheck of a deaf-mute child and her story

96. The seventh and last award is an Audio Category, with Jungkook presenting

97. Namjoon speculates this award is for people who made sure there was no dead air

98. Jimin agrees with him that this is the most important aspect of a variety show

99. The nominees for Audio Category: Hope Sound Effect Award are

    1. Jin, for having a very high-pitched scream

    2. Yoongi, for his weird little sound effects that happen whenever he’s happy

    3. Hoseok, for his weird little sound effects and songs that happen at every moment of every day, and for confessing is love to the audio director during an episode

100. Jungkook laughs his ass off at the award title as soon as it appears

101. Hoseok’s face is mostly resigned, but even he smiles at himself and how cute he is during the montage

102. Jimin wants to give Hoseok a roommate handshake, but Hoseok is already holding a bouquet of flowers, which leads to a right hand / left hand clasp situation before they do a left-handed shake

103. Hoseok thanks ARMY and the producers, then lifts his mic up to his mouth tell the audio director he loves him again

104. Namjoon says that Hoseok does a great job at making the mood lively and fun at all times

105. Taehyung, more loudly, says that without Hoseok there’s no BTS

106. Hoseok, at his limit for being complimented, does some seated finger guns and tries to vanish

107. Yoongi announces two more awards, Best Chemistry and an Honorary Daesang

108. Taehyung is not paying attention, choosing to play with his award instead

109. Everyone else suddenly really wants this chemistry thing even though it’s literally made up

110. The nominees for Best Chemistry award are

     1. Yoongi and Taehyung, for being the Hawaii brothers who were paired up for like 5 episodes in a row and always had their arms around each other

     2. Namjoon and Jin, for carrying an entire cooking episode with their nonstop arguing

     3. Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook, for always being up for a synchronized dance

111. Everyone realizes that this is now serious business

112. Jin thinks he should win with Namjoon, but he can see that on the nearby table there are three award boxes, which is something of a spoiler

113. Jin chastises the production crew for not making it more mysterious

114. Yoongi agrees that it sucks the suspense out

115. Jimin suddenly says that they are mistaken, then points to the boxes and says the three boxes could be for Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok

116. Namjin are like…. yeah that’s what we just said???

117. Jimin retorts that he thought the three boxes were one for each nominee

118. Namjoon pats him on the thigh and says that’s not right

119. Yoongi decides it’s time to announce the winner, and it’s all three teams!

120. Jimin is like, I fucking told you all and you made me feel dumb

121. The producers give a little speech for each winner and it’s pretty cute tbh

     1. Taegi are rewarded for their companionable relationship

     2. Namjin are rewarded for the fact that they are essentially complete opposites that work well together

        1. They prove this by one saying Bang and the other saying Thud

     3. 3J are rewarded for their harmony with each other

        1. They prove this by all standing and doing a crane pose to each other

122. Everyone stands up to get the awards, and Yoongi runs into Jin and almost drops the award on the ground with a loud yell

123. Jin immediately turns to Namjoon and says he will hold their award

124. Hoseok nominates Jimin to give their speech, which pleases Jungkook, who can stand behind Hoseok, wrap his arms around him, and bounce them both up and down with enthusiasm

125. As Jimin speaks Jungkook slides up to put his arm around Hoseok’s shoulder, who responds with a hand around Jungkook’s waist like it’s a prom photo

126. Taehyung decides to look through his award like a spyglass

127. Namjoon gives their speech, christening them Team RJ, then begins to recount a memory of a Bon Voyage conversation they had at a tunnel

     1. Jin, interrupting this reminiscence, says that Namjoon needs to hold the hand he’s proffering

     2. Namjoon, thrown off stride, shifts his trophy to the other hand so they can shake, but he goes in half-heartedly and they mostly just awkwardly touch palms

     3. Namjoon and Jin yell thud and bang again at each other

     4. Namjoon ends his speech

128. Jimin throws his entire body onto Namjoon’s larger one as he laughs

129. Hoseok requires Taegi to hold hands during their speech

130. Taehyung is very grateful that he was put with Yoongi in Hawaii so that they can be BFFs and hold hands every single day

131. Namjoon and Jungkook want to predict the winners of the Honorary Daesang, and Namjoon says the Happy World with ARMY Award

132. Jimin approves, and Jungkook is so impressed he doesn’t even make his prediction

133. BTS is the winner of the Honorary Daesang, and in an unexpected plot twist we witness BTS nearly die on camera as the producers set off the delebratory streamer guns they’d taped to the ceiling with a loud bang

134. From least to most terrified:

     1. Jungkook, who’s purely delighted as he stands and claps at the streamers

     2. Taehyung, who internalizes his fear by holding stock still except for his eyes

     3. Jimin, who jumps in place and shakes his head wildly

     4. Namjoon, who ducks and covers from where he’d stood to applaud

     5. Hoseok, who raises his arms in defensive marital arts posture and yells “Woah!”

     6. Jin, who jumps back onto the couch with his arms over his head and his mouth wide open

     7. Yoongi, who falls back into his chair and clutches his heart as he laughs out his fear

135. Hoseok berates the producers for not telling them that was going to happen, and he’s only half-kidding

136. Jimin gathers them for a group hug and spin

137. Yoongi is still making sure his heart is beating, then berates the producers for not warning him about that, not at all kidding

138. They spin so long the editors fast forward it and make them sound like chipmunks until 2seok beg them to stop turning

139. They force Jin to give the speech as Taehyung wraps him in a golden streamer like a Christmas present

140. Yoongi asks for closing thoughts from the crew

     1. Taehyung: Thank you for showing us love, and Run BTS will continue

     2. Jimin: I’m so glad that we can both make fun memories and people like watching us do it

     3. Namjoon: Hopefully this content can be your comfort in the nanoseconds we’re not promoting music

     4. Jungkook: We’ve done a lot, but we could always do more, like maybe 500 total episodes as long as our bodies can withstand it

     5. Jin: Music can only be made for those willing to listen, and variety shows can only be made for those willing to watch, so thanks

     6. Hoseok: If this makes you happy, then I guess we have to keep working our asses off, so we’ll be back

     7. Yoongi: Gets out of doing this scott free because he’s the MC

141. They do a holding hands jump transition to a new location, which is in front of a carousel in Lotte World

     1. It’s crazy that BTS are big enough stars at this point to procure Korea’s biggest amusement park for filming and yet they’re not even close to as big as they will be years in the future

142. At some point BTS has been given the run of the gift store and emerged with two headbands with frog’s eyes, two headbands with bunny ears, and three Shiba Inu helmet hats; all of them are being worn in some fashion, though Taehyung has his bunny ears around his neck

143. Namjoon says it’s the first time he’s been to Lotte World since debut, but he has to eat his words when Yoongi reminds him they performed there once

144. The producers show a pre-debut picture of them at the park, minus Yoongi, and they all look so young and dumb that it’s hard to stare directly at it

145. Jungkook hilariously, said Jimin looked like a baby

146. Jimin, with some regret, remembers wearing a snapback

147. Jungkook imitates a face that Jimin made in a picture, grin huge, and Jimin walks over to physically fight him

148. Hoseok complains that Jin’s shiba hat is blocking his view of everyone else; Jin is unmoved

149. The producers got them a happy 50th episode cake, and Namjoon tries to start a round of Happy Birthday before they realize it doesn’t make sense; the finish it anyway

     1. The picture on top of the cake is them from the Pigdolph episode, which is really funny to me

150. The producers explain that they will be divide into three teams to complete three rides, and the winners will get a gift worth 500,000 won

     1. BTS react like they are a young girl being given her own pony

     2. Namjoon, cynicism peeking through, says it will probably be 10 daily pass tickets to Lotte World

151. Taehyung walks forward to get the hallowed Cup of Papers to draw teams

     1. Jungkook waves him off, saying they should let the producers finish their explanation

     2. Jin echoes him sternly

     3. Taehyung walks back, slightly confused since they said to draw a name

     4. Jinkook dash forward to be the first to draw

     5. Jungkook, giggling, grabs the whole cup and runs away with it

     6. Jungkook pushes his bunny ears up higher on his head, proudly, and gives people their papers

152. Namjoon, very imperiously, says they need to figure out which headwear goes with which team, and they land on Team A = bunny, Team B = frog, Team C = Shiba Inu

153. Jimin is sad at this because he really wants to wear the Shiba Inu

154. The final teams are:

     1. Bunny - Jin and Jimin

     2. Frog - Jungkook and Taehyung

     3. Shiba Inu - Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon

155. Jungkook protests that he knows he’s the bunny and this is unfair

156. Yoongi complains that putting the rapline together in Shiba Inu hats is mostly just cruel

157. Namjoon suggests they do a cypher in them

158. The producers, ominously, ask if there’s a member who can’t blow a bubble with bubble gum

     1. Jin, Jungkook, and Namjoon say they can’t

     2. Jin and Jungkook can both whistle, so it’s determined they can probably learn it

     3. Namjoon seriously doesn’t know how, and he’s amazed that everyone else does

     4. Yoongi wants to know what Namjoon was up to for 25 years if not blowing bubbles with bubble gum

159. With Namjoon still trying to get instructions on how to blow a bubble, we’re out!

The Finish Line:

Well that happened! I had totally forgotten about the moment that they all get scared out of their skins and when it happened I laughed so hard I had to pause the video and recover myself. Jungkook clapping happily through the whole event was really the icing on the cake.

For a review show that basically recycled old content, I appreciate how they made it fresh and fun with the awards, even if they failed to take into account how competitive BTS is about even meaningless prizes. Jin may never forgive Jimin for dangling the best MC award in front of him before snatching it away, but Jimin is wily and I’m handled the enmity with grace.

Next up is some amusement park rides, which some members are good at (Jungkook) and others are terrible at (basically everyone else) so that’s sure to be a good time for all! Hopefully Namjoon gets a quick bubblegum lesson in there before we start…